oh boy.
i just unplugged the ethernet and it connected. i did not even need to go to connect it , it just did it with details i had saved from past attempts
i have now checked other networks and they work too, so it seems that if th ethernet cable is in then the wifi fails to connect. that cant be correct, but at least i know it works (ethernet overides wifi, but no error is shown)
BTW i tried the quick connect option that generates a QR code and that did not work , the instructions for android were wrong and the QR code does not go anywhere.
thanks for the fast advice.
taj